Midday Thoughts: Forgiveness

“The more you are able to forgive, the more you are able to love.”- Stephen Richards

  Forgiveness is a word that many of us hear but we don’t really understand. Every person of the older generation I have spoken to has told me that you should be quick to apologize, but I also believe it is very important to be quick to forgive others. Forgiveness to most people means accepting an apology but never forgetting what someone did to us. What happens when you never receive an apology? Do we just continue to hate or dislike the person that did us wrong? I don’t believe that this is the answer or solution.

I, myself have been struggling with forgiving people who have done me wrong for the past 12 years. Trying to forgive fellow classmates who may have made fun of me in primary school, or relationships that may have failed for whatever reason or even family members who never understood how the words or the things they have done have affected me.

Forgiveness is so important because it allows us to take a situation that once made us feel sad, threatened or hurt into something beautiful. As stated before sometimes we do not receive the apology that we so long wish for but in our own minds and hearts we must forgive and let go of the hurt. When we allow ourselves to let go of the hurt that wasn’t followed by an apology, we allow ourselves to be put in a place that embodies light and beauty.

When I say forgive someone, I mean letting the situation completely go and realizing that we are all human and make mistakes out of anger, jealousy, or even pain that we are going through within our own personal lives. Putting ourselves in the shoes of someone else who has done us wrong may open up our own eyes to why they may have acted the way they did. I am not saying everyone has a reason for why they do the things they do, but maybe by trying to see the other person’s current situation then maybe we can empathize with them. By doing this we may be able to let go of the past.

I’m not sure if this makes sense to anyone, but my main point is forgiving is sometimes just as important as an apology because it allows the person on the receiving end to move on without holding grudges against anyone. It costs you nothing to forgive or apologize, but the peace of mind you will receive is the best reward.

Until next time, love and be loved.

-M.R.

Interview With Ady Liu

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The Botanical Gardens in Savannah, Georgia.

As many people at Savannah State know, there are foreign exchange students from JiuJiang University which is located in China. I know that a lot of students see them but do not talk to them due to the difference in language but I have had the opportunity to have one of those students as my roommate. Xiaodi Liu or “Ady” is my roommate and over the last 6 months she has become one of my closet friends. Ady has accompanied me on many adventures through Savannah, Georgia and before she leaves we will take a five day trip through Jacksonville, Florida to Pensacola, Florida.

Ady is 22 year old senior, who attends the JiuJiang University in China. She originally was only going to be here at Savannah State University for the Fall Semester but after talking with her international adviser, she is staying for the Spring semester.

Interview

Me: What is your favorite thing about America? Your least favorite thing?

Ady: I like the weather here in Savannah, in China the skies aren’t as pretty and I like that its always blue skies everyday. Savannah is really pretty. I don’t really like American food, so lets go with that. That’s my least favorite, the food!

Me: What is the worst experience you have had since coming to the States?

Ady: When I first arrived in New York, the police kept me for two hours in a room interrogating me because they thought I was another Chinese girl. They were wrong because they had mixed my passport up with hers. After they released me, my luggage wheel broke off, and then I almost missed my flight to Savannah. It was horrible. 

Me: Have you been to America before coming for the exchange program?

Ady: No, but since being here I have traveled to New York, Houston, San Francisco, Las Vegas, Los Angeles, Orlando, Atlanta, Charleston and Charlotte! Well if you want to count the trip to Pensacola and Jacksonville we are going on in a couple of weeks, then I’ve been to eleven places in America. 

Me: I know you’re able to speak English and Mandarin, but do you know how to speak any other languages?

Ady: I can understand “Hong Kong” language but I cannot speak it. (“Hong Kong Language”is Cantonese) 

Me: Do you ever get homesick?

Ady: No, not really. I talk to my daddy everyday, generally at night because of the time difference.

Me: What have you learned about Americans that you didn’t know before?

Ady: I thought that everybody in America had guns but they don’t. Also, most boys are gentlemen and will hold the door for the ladies to go first.

Me: If you could tell Americans one thing about your culture, what would it be?

Ady: It is nothing like Japanese culture. Japanese came from China so there are similarities but we are not the same people. *Laughing* Chinese people are not as smart as Japanese people. We just work hard. Respect is also very important in Chinese culture especially for your parents or people older than you.

Me: How is school different at Savannah State University compared to JiuJiang University?

Ady: School is harder in America because its hard for me to understand some of the teachers because they speak English very fast. 

Me: How was it celebrating Spring Festival in America versus in China?

Ady: It was fun, I met some new friends from my hometown that I didn’t know were here in Savannah. I was also able to enjoy some of the same activities, I would normally do back home, just on a smaller scale.

Me: What has been your best experience so far in America?

Ady: Meeting you, cause I met my best friend and we do everything together. When I’m sad or you’re sad we always find away to make each other okay. We watch movies together most nights with the subtitles on and I like that.

End of Interview

Ady was a great help in putting this post together and when she goes back to China at the end of this semester, I will miss her very much. She has taught me many things over the last six months and I will cherish every memory we have made together, forever. I love you Ady for being one of my best friends, my shoulder to cry on, and everything in between.    順其自然

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Loving Myself Before The “Trend”

IMG_0520Natural Hair is no longer a “trend” in the African American community, it is seen as a way of getting back to our roots. I’m all for black girls all across America embracing their natural hair and letting their curls flow but I can’t help but think back to when I first started my journey to natural hair.

I started my natural hair journey my junior year of high school on April 9th, 2011 (5 years this year, YAY) , not even knowing I was starting a journey. I originally was only taking a couple months break until December of 2011 to not perm my hair because I watched a few YouTube videos of girls who explained they did not perm their hair for 8-12 months so that it would grow long and healthy between treatments.  During the few months of me taking a break from perms I learned how to do my own hair and embrace the fact that it was not bone straight. When December came, I chose to continue without a perm and eventually cut off all the permed ends(December 2012), becoming a full blown natural sister!

I was very happy with the intricate hairstyles I would come up with but my peers didn’t think so. I would often get picked on for the way that my hair looked, mind you this wasn’t just from the white kids but from my own fellow African American people. I got comments back such as “If I had your hair I wouldn’t wear it like that.”, “Your hair is too wild looking.”, “Girl, what is that on top of your head?”. Of course, I didn’t care because my mom always taught me to love myself for my own beauty standards and not what everyone else thought was beautiful.

The following pictures are a variety of the hairstyles I used to wear when I started my journey.

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This was my go to hairstyle, but the only person who liked it was my boyfriend at the time.
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This picture was about 8 months after my curls started appearing, my permed ends still had not been cut off.
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One time when I wore my hair like this, the kids in my math class tried to see if a balloon would sit on top. I laughed but it made me feel sad on the inside.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Now that I see all these beautiful black women coming out with their Afros and flat twists, it makes me wonder. Why is that when I first started embracing who I was naturally, black women and men would pick on me because to them my hair was “ugly”? Even some of those same people who said hurtful things about my hair have decided to embrace their curls.

Everyone knows that in high-school people pick if you’re different no matter what it is but in College especially attending an HBCU (Historically Black College/University), judgement on hair styles, especially natural hairstyles, is less likely to happen.

The following are some pictures of my natural hair in different states since I graduated high school.

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This is what my hair looks like when it is freshly washed.
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Semi-straight natural hair, the humidity in Savannah kills straight hair.
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Dry hair with no product or style, just my naturally shaped hair.

 

Everyone always tells me now, I have such beautiful hair because its long and thick but they would never know how I use to get picked on for the way my hair used to look. I don’t hate any of the people who use to pick on me but sometimes I do wonder “why”, especially when most of them have chosen to go the “natural” route since graduating high school. Of course some questions will never get answered but, I just want to tell you to “Always be yourself” even if people make fun of you. There will never be another you and you should never strive to be someone else’s beauty standard. Your standard of beauty for yourself is all that matters.

Peace, Love, and Happiness.

 

 

 

Morning Thoughts Turned to Afternoon Thoughts

Today it has registered in my brain that I will graduate from Savannah State University in less than 3 months as of yesterday February 7, 2016. I have experienced so many different things in the past four years that its unbelievable when I look back over the time that has passed.

Over the course of the years I have experienced the meaning of falling in love, heartbreak, the joy of joining a sorority, good friendships, bad friendships, accomplishing goals that seemed hard to obtain, late night studying, being so broke that all I could afford to eat were ramen noodles, road trips that inspired me to live a little more, drunken nights, working two jobs, gaining internships that I thought were impossible to get, … etc.

I have experienced all the joys, fears and wonders of college my mother told me I would have. Although some experiences have not been the most pleasant, I wouldn’t trade any moment, relationship or friendship that has occurred over the last 4 years.

When I was a freshman, I thought that by my senior year I would have it all figured out, as far as a career path and where I was going to live. I have only one of those things figured out (Place of Living), well sort of, and surprisingly I am content with that for now. After speaking to trusted adults who are successful, I realized that I do not have to have everything figured out at the age of 22 or by graduation. If I just trust God and lean on him and not my own understanding it will all work out eventually.

Well this concludes my Morning thoughts well now Afternoon thoughts since it is now almost 2pm.

Have a great day!

 

 

Back in Business

Happy New Year! I clearly have no sense of time when it comes to updating my computer, cellphone or this blog. Although I do not have that many readers, I still feel that I have let the few people who actually read my blog down. Let me first say that after the fall semester ended I had a 3 week break from school and work I got really lazy and did nothing but binge watch “Criminal Minds” and “Spartacus” on Netflix.

Now that the semester has started officially, and there is no time for week long marathons of tv shows on Netflix, I refuse to be lazy about updating this blog.

To start off let me update you about my life since my little hiatus from here.

  1. Today is my 22nd birthday and after blasting Taylor Swifts “22” approximately 16 times today, I am starting to feel 22.IMG_0990 (1).JPG
  2. I have found a new love for taking pictures with my Polaroid Snap that I got for Christmas. I personally think everything even the most crap photos look better through its lens.IMG_0889
  3. My best friend gave birth to a beautiful baby girl in mid December, so I am officially Auntie Krick. (And yes that is a baby face emoji over Baby Mels face per wishes of her mother not wanting her exposed to the world wide internet)IMG_1018

That is the end of my updates, nothing to crazy happened within the last three weeks, other than those three things. The only other thing I can think of mentioning is that I am happier than I have ever been in my life and I owe that to God, my family and friends who support me in everything I do.

I hope to update every couple of days or at least once a week since I know I probably will forget or get lazy. Until then I hope everyone has a wonderful day or night when or wherever you are reading!

 

 

 

Happiness in Five

“Happiness begins with you” -Anonymous 

It is 6:35pm and I am currently waiting on my Sorority
Sister to pick me up from the Student Union here on campus. As I sit here I look around at all the students here and wonder what their background stories are. No one truly knows anybody, do they? Do you know even your bestfriends deepest secrets, the ones that he/she is afraid to tell you? We really never know anyone except for ourselves. So this leads me into my next thought, how many times have you really thought about what makes you happy? No, this isn’t a trick question to inspire some deep thought but just what makes YOU happy?…. Well I’ll tell you 5 things that make me happy. (I am not going to include my family because that’s a given for me. These are just five simple things that make me happy)
1. Cats. 
If you know me, you know I love cats but did you know I feel the happiest when I am holding a little furry kitten baby. I feel that cats are my spirit animal because they are completely free. They do what they want when they want. If all they want to do is take a nap that is what they are going to do.
2. The Smell of Coffee
This second thing is something that I have recently found out about myself. See, I’ve always liked he smell of coffee but could never stand the taste of it but now I like both. The smell is what reels me in, it’s this magical smell that just makes everything alright. 
3. Sunny Days
Sunny Days make me happy because it’s like the earth is smiling. When the sun is shining it’s like my whole mood gets brighter, it makes me feel more connected with the universe.
4. Fall Time 
Fall time is when the leaves change from shades of green to shades of red, orange, yellow and brown. Where in from I get to experience the full fall time but here in the city I don’t get to really see the change in the trees as much. 
5. Peace in My Soul
Now I know this sounds weird but having peace makes me happier than anything. When I’m at peace within myself I feel as if I’m floating through the world and nothing can touch me. If my “Peace” were an image it would be a open field of flowers that are being caressed by the wind. 

BONUS (because there should be more than 5 things that make a person happy) 

6. LOTR (Lord of The Rings) Now this is a bonus. LOTR is my favorite trilogy ever, there have been times where I could be going through the worst time in life and I just watch the whole series for 12 hours straight and everything seems to then be OKAY. It’s just one of those things that eases my mind. 
These are just six random things that make me happy. 
I have a challenge for the readers of my blog.
1. List five things that make you happy. 
2. Ask a random person, “What are five random things that make you happy? 

The Road of Life: Wandering

I imagine the road of life to be a dirt road that has a nice view.
I imagine the road of life to be a dirt road that has a nice view.

It has been over two weeks since I last posted on here, due to schoolwork and life just being overwhelming.

Over the past two weeks I have been dealing with a lot of things. I graduate in May 2016 from college and I have no idea what comes next. Ever since I was a little girl my life has been planned out, step by step. My only option after high-school was college, that was what my parents made me understand at a very young age. Now that I’m less than seven months from graduating and being shoved into the “real world”, I am scared. Not scared like a child who is scared of the dark but scared like the moment when you get on a new roller coaster and don’t know what to expect but you know you will be okay in the end.

My biggest fear is making a decision that I might regret. I have the option to continue with school and get my Masters or go straight to work for a company having a salary. Deep down inside of me I don’t want to do either one of these things, I want to explore the world and become one with myself and find my purpose in life. I feel there is so much more to life than working and going to school, although they are very important aspects of what society says we need in order to be successful.

Life is so short and can be taken away in a instant so why should I spend my life doing something that isn’t going to fulfill my happiness? I’m hoping to figure out my next step out before I run out of time but it makes me also wonder why do I have to have it all figured out by the time I graduate? Some of the worlds richest people didn’t have their dreams and goals figured out until they were in their thirties.

I feel like life is like a road but the only person walking that road is you, you pass other people walking on their road but in the end your road takes you places no one else can go. I feel there are different stages on the road. I’m in a stage where I’m wandering. Right now I feel as if I’m wandering with no clear direction but the path is LIFE and I know that I will get through the wandering phase. I’m just trying to make sure that before I come to the end of the road I find true and utter happiness in myself.

These are just my thoughts for now.